I've been roaming around always lookin down at all I see.
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach.
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you
And all you know and how you speak
Countless lovers undercover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you
Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice
Someone like me
Someone like me
Someone like me
Somebody
(Go and let it out)
Someone like you
Somebody
Someone like you
Somebody
Someone like you
Somebody
I've been roaming around always lookin down at all I see

how the fuck do you get rid of the one thing that you really don't want to?

today, ladies and gentlemen, i received a BEAUTIFUL, motorcycle!

I can't put into words how excited I am. She runs great, save for some minor issues. We are pretty sure the compression is low on one of the cylinders and she is running on 1.3-1.6/2 cylinders, annnnd I need to replace her fork seals, but other than that, she rides AMAZING! the low compression is only a factor really when it comes to her top speed and she is a little chug-a-luggy when takin' off.

I rode her yesterday in an alley/parking lot combo and omg...LOVE.

1983 Honda CM 250...she is tiny but OH SO FUN.

perfect starter bike. so easy to ride, after 5 minutes i was leaning and hitting up gears like nobody's business.

I am so happy. so so happy.

and the price was to die for. 400 bucks folks.

AHHH ::scream of happiness::

next purchase...permit/manual/jacket. what up!

one more semester.

a business.

some hopes.

some dreams.

shit ain't half bad.

i have three papers to write, due tuesday, and i CANNOT find the motivation. it doesn't help that i have been sick and in bed for a week. i want to die. and sudafed does not work like my doctor said it would. argh.

so frustrated. oh well, guess i just gotta buck up and push out three decent papers. no problem right?

I am starting to think that I won't ever have real friends. the kind of friends who tell me everything and i tell everything too. who i hang out with everyday. i barely even talk to my best friend.


it is really starting to depress me.

humans create these barriers for themselves. the funny thing is that for some reason we create hurdles that are impossible to jump. i don't know why we do this. maybe so that in the 10 per cent chance we happen to jump those impossibly tall hurdles...with all the luck in the world on our side, both a rabbits foot and four-leaf clover hanging out of our left pocket...we are able to feel super human. impossibly special and amazing. and that ounce of self respect we gain from doing the impossible helps to faintly shroud the massive amounts of insecurities and regrets, at least for a small time.

me and a couple of my friends have decided to create a zine. me and chris have attempted to begin a comic. i have promised canvases and t-shirts to many people. all these promises to myself of future creativity...i keep setting 100 foot tall hurdles in my path. I can't even jump 3 feet off the ground, why would i set myself up to attempt 100 feet? It's crazy. People are crazy.

I put a lot of faith in other people, to do better than i am doing myself. but time and time again they don't live up to the expectations. I am not trying to be morbid or cynical here. I am just trying to explain to myself that i believe all people suffer from setting thier goals, thier dreams, and thier wants so far above them because they fear that if they were actually in reach...well who am I kidding, none of us will ever be that tall.

as much as i didn't want this to, it came across as cynical. i think my writing style...no, my thinking style, my train of thought, my brain, is cynical. and vague.

OI

school starts on monday.

i was in sacto for a week and it was really good seeing everyone! new years was kinda boo boo, but whatever.

mat is awesome. and rulz. because he totally likes me. i wish he would make me some fooooood.

your live journal entries make me fall on the ground laughing.

you are so detached, and so hell bent on victimizing yourself. and i spent so much time trying to help you.

i should have seen all along that it was a waste of my time.

QUIT WHINING ABOUT EVERYTHING.

i had a dream last night. i dreamed that mat was cheating on me, but he was doing it right in front of me, and in front of everyone else.

my dreams are very emotionally intense. and i woke up feeling upset and confused and tired. emotionally drained if you will. All day i have been jittery and panicky and jumpy. it sucks.

dreams are strange. i obviously am housing some concerns about mat and the way he reacts to me. he is emotionally...weird. i don't know any other way to describe it. But, whatever, that seems to be the standard for guys i date. come february we will have been dating for a year, which for me is groundbreaking. and i care about him a lot. i just get scared sometimes because i care so much, and i am scared he is gonna fuck it up. haha.

in other news school is crazy. as usual. life is pretty boring. no, life is really boring. not bad. but boring.

i am never home, yet at the same time never doing anything really except hanging out at mat's house or doing homework. out of 10 nights i have slept in my bed once, i think.

i need to think of something to be for halloween. but since i only have 3 dollars until november, it has to be something readily available.

CHRISTINA! costume ideas are needed.